Every now and again, we'll see a story about a poor punter who's had to be hospitalised after getting something stuck inside them, and we'll shake our heads and chalk it up to experience.
But it turns out that it's actually happening a heck of a lot more often than we think, as proven by the US Consumer Product Safety Commission's annual report of reasons for emergency department visits around the country.
AdequateMan.com has trawled through the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS), which lists the cause of every single admission to the ED each year, as categorised by age, sex, what exactly got stuck and the excuse patients gave for how it got stuck.
But, most importantly, the hefty database also lists injuries by where things got stuck - namely, every orifice from your ears to your rectum.
And so, without further ado, here are our top five stuck objects, plus actual, bona fide descriptions, as divided by region.
1. "Placed crayon in ear on a dare."
2. "Was bored at school, put part of a pen in ear."
3. "Always puts toilet paper in ear when showering. Can't remove."
4. "Popcorn kernels in both ears, 'Feeds her ears because her ears are hungry.'"
5. "Piece of gelatinous toy that expands with water."
1. "Sneezed and a computer keyboard key came out RT. nostril, sneezed again and another one almost came out."
2. Pool noodle
3. Sex toy
4. Piece of steak
1. "Had wife's earring in his mouth and accidentally swallowed it."
2. "Swallowed a quarter while eating peanuts."
3. Toy horn
4. Small transistor radio
5. Christmas tree branch
1. "Piece of hard white plastic that he broke off while working w/ crafts."
2. Back of remote control
3. "Put soap on electrical wire, inserted wire into penis."
4. 6 to 7 BB pellets
5. Fingernail clippings
1. Multiple cotton balls
2. Toy plastic banana
4. Small child's toy
5. Glass paperweight
1. "Jumped on bed - toothbrush was on bed and went up patient's rectum."
2. "Sat down on the sofa and accidentally sat on a ball point pen, pen lodges in rectum."
3. Two gold balls in bag
4. Significant amount of string
5. Christmas ornament ball